Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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