He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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