I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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