two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Shitshow foam night was such a success
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
