I saw his package. It spoke to me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
