guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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