so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
