Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
