remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
