This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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