Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
