Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
