You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
