Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
