U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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