I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
