she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
