So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
