it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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