Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
