I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
