Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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