Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
