I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
