Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
try to milk me bitch
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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