I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
