oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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