Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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