I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
