Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Found the puke drawer
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
