When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just had sex bonerless
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
