this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
