I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
