those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
