i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
