So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
