You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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