K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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