she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
