just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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