what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Found the puke drawer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
