Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
