I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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