I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
