And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
