Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
