I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
