ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
