well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
