We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
