someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
