O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
