I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
